The Relic

 


The Relic (1997)

The Plot: A mutated beast disrupts the grand opening of a new exhibit at the Chicago Museum of Natural History

The Relic is like a mix between Jurassic Park and Jaws. The setup is actually pretty decent. Strange leaves and organisms delivered to the museum, then science to explain what it all means. Then the killing begins, but we do not get to see the monster until the third act ala Jaws. There's even the local bureaucrat, in this case the museum's director, demanding the place stays open despite potential danger. I wonder if she got to keep her job after ignoring the police, demanding the museum stay open for its opening night black dress gala only to have multiple people murdered by a chimera beast. The mayor in Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws II, so she probably did although I suspect it is now harder for her to secure grant money due to the "monster incident".

Nothing says excitement like looking at an Excel database on Windows 95

By the time the monster arrives in the third act, the director, Peter Hyams, decides to inexplicably film the third act in almost total darkness. It's hard to figure out who is getting eaten by the monster, where they even are and what the heck the monster itself even looks like., which is a shame as the beast looks pretty darn good in the glimpses we do get. At least when it's a practical effect and not the clunky late 90s CGI.

Is it hot in here?

The museum itself is also humongous. It's connected to a serious of underground tunnels that lead to other parts of Chicago. Sure! why  not? The beats also apparently can be at any  spot in the museum instantaneously. One moment he is in the lab which seems directly connected to the main museum, and seconds later its int he underground catacombs leading to Lake Michigan eating unsuspecting museum patrons. At least the smarmy, brown nosing opportunistic grant seeking scientist gets his comeuppance. The finale also features Penelope Ann Miller outracing not only the bloodthirsty beats but also a fireball explosion. If only it was in slow motion! opportunity wasted. I also believe every person named Penelope actually has a secret power of being able to outrun fireballs, but its only Penelope Ann Miller who has ever put that to work in practice. 

Penelope Ann Miller, faster than a speeding fireball

Despite the high kill count, chimera monster in a museum and a great setup. The last act filmed in darkness grinds everything to a halt. I give the relic 6 smarmy, brown nosing opportunistic scientists. 


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