Terror At London Bridge

 


Terror At London Bridge (1985)


The Plot: Jack the Ripper returns to kill again in 1985 Arizona


David Hasselhoff is a former Chicago cop who once killed an unarmed teen while on duty and was looking for a new start in a quiet town, so he becomes a cop in Lake Havasu Arizona which recently is having the last piece of the original London Bridge installed on its version which was built brick by brick from the original. When that happens, it somehow brought Jack the Ripper back to life. It's not really explained how. Usually, these types of movies will have some sort of scientist or paranormal expert to spout technobabble to make this make sense, but not here! 

The Hunter/Knight Rider crossover we missed but surely deserved

Hassehoff is helped by a great totally 80s supporting cast, Dee Dee McCall from Hunter, Roy from Emergency, Clu Galager as his boss and Adrienne Barbeau! He does decent detective work here, but I can't help but wonder why this couldn't have just been a Knight Rider movie. He really misses a talking car to get him out of some jams. Jack the Ripper beats Hasselhoff up quite easily which i think wouldn't have happened if Kitt was around. And despite being a good detective, no one seems to think that maybe the guy doing Jack the Ripper like copycat murders might be the weird British guy who goes around town dressed exactly like 19th century Jack the Ripper in big hat and cape? I mean, for sure Kitt would've had this info in his memory banks! 

Could Jack the Ripper be this British guy with the 80s wardrobe -1880s wardrobe that is!

Without Kitt, Hasselhoff only has his great hair and an array of members only jackets to fight Jack the Ripper with. This does prove to be enough as he does finally vanquish the Ripper at the end, all while maintaining his perfect hair.

A poor man's Miami Vice

Terror At London Bridge does have a time traveling or dimension hopping Jack the Ripper, great 80s feathered hair and polo shirts, but little else going for it. There is never much suspense, the killings happen off screen and its never explained how or why the Ripper comes back. I give it 4 Members only jackets. 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Poltergeist II: The Other Side

Image
Poltergiest II: The Other Side (1986) The Plot: Fleeing from the events of the Original movie, The Freelig family are followed and  once again terrorized by ghosts   Poltergeist II: The Other Side suffers as a movie simply because it follows the great first movie and has the same plot. Sure there are some differences as they enlist the help of a Native American shaman instead of a gypsy medium. Although,  Tangina does show up briefly. It also ratchets up the possessed household objects where we get to see attacks from a chainsaw, electric wire, even Robbie's braces. They're baaaaack!   At first you think it may go a different route when it looks like the super creepy Reverend Kane would be the antagonist, but that turns out not to be the case. Kane is only in a handful of scenes before it's off to the ghosts.  He is really criminally underused here. If the plt of your movie has a golden opportunity to feature an old timey, creepy reverend, then you go ful
Read more

Candyman

Image
Candyman (1992) The Plot: A graduate student working on her thesis on folklore legends finds more than what she bargained for!   Despite the title, there is no candy in Candyman. Instead we get bees. Many, many bees. The worst of which are the bees filling a toilet. Toilet bees should not be a thing. It's probably the most disturbing thing in this movie. We should thank our lucky stars that we don;t have to check our toilets for bees on a regular basis.  My God! Toilet bees!   Candyman tells the story of a boogyman with a hook for a hand that appears when his name is said 5 times while gazing into a mirror. Go ahead, try doing that. I dare you. BWAHAHAHA! Virginia Madsen  doesn't believe this so she does that...and hilarity ensues! OK maybe not, death ensues. But not before she gets kissed by Candyman who has a mouthful of bees! Bee kissing! first bee toilets, now bee kissing. Don't watch this movie if you are scared of bees.  Check out these mouth bees
Read more

Hellraiser

Image
Hellraiser (1987) The Plot: A man who finds a strange object that opens an interdimensional rift and is killed, is resurrected but needs the blood of humans to return to his true form.   Frank buys a puzzle box from a strange man who then takes it home, solves it and promptly opens an interdimensional rift to hell where he is skewered by chains and ripped asunder. All in all, not his best day. Just goes to show you, never buy strange objects from junk dealers. It didn't work out well for Zach Galligan in Gremlins and it doesn't work out well here either. I don't know what's worse, the gremlins, or the demons here.  This may look like fun, but it's only fun if your idea of fun involves releasing demons from an interdimensional rift   After Frank's brother Larry returns to live in the house where he died and spills some of his own blood there, do we get the skinless resurrected body of Frank. Skinless Frank tells Larry's wife, Julia that she mu
Read more