The Return Of Swamp Thing

Return of Swamp Thing (1989)

The Plot: A mad scientist continues his work in genetic mutation and must be stopped by Swamp Thing

  Swamp Thing is  DC Comics movie, but from a time when instead of making dark, shitty movies, they only made shitty movies. There is no mopey Swamp Thing here! Luckily, Return of Swamp Thing knows what it is: a campy, fun monster movie. The plot is ludicrous, revolving around Dr. Arcane, a man whose suaveness cannot be measured by any known instrument, and who gleefully stands around playing with his cuff links while barking orders to his uniformed henchmen needs fresh bodies for his anti-aging  and/or genetic mutation experiments. A mad scientists' work is never done!
Dr. Arcane rated a 9.7 on the Suave-o-meter


  Eventually, Arcane captures Heather Locklear, who got the role after she vanquished all known Heathers for the title of "Best Heather of the 80's". He then drains her life to reverse the aging process or some other nonsense. 
Swamp Thing always gets the girl...even if she is dead


  Swamp Thing comes to her rescue, defeats the lead henchman with the always hilarious, hand grenade int he pants gag, blows up the good Doctor's lab, saves the day and reanimated Heather Locklear's corpse with his jolly green magic so they can all live happily ever after. All in a day's work for Swamp Thing!
Ho! Ho! Ho! its magic!
  I cannot hate a movie that features a man with an elephant head growing out of his own head. I just can't.
I shoulda used more sun block
I give Return of Swamp Thing 6 Heathers



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