31 Horror Movies

The Mummy (1932) The Plot: British archaeologists open an undisturbed tomb and relase a curse which brings Imhotep back to life, where he assumes the identity of Ardeth Bey and searches for his lost love.   The Mummy is a classic and for good reason.  Boris Karloff gives one of his strongest performances as The Mummy/Ardeth Bey. Brought back from the dead by an ancient curse. It's always an ancient curse, never a modern one. Ever notice that? He is still in his mummy bandages when he is revived by the curse and walks away from his tomb, which instantly causes the British archaeologist to go mad. And by mad i mean, he just laughs incessantly and uncontrollably. In the early 19th century, doctors just called this affliction "The Laughs" as in. "Poor Billingsly's got a right case of the Laughs". Oh No! Billingsly's got a right case of the Laughs!   Karfloff then assumes the identity of Ardeth Bey seamlessly integrating into Egyptian society ...

Return To Horror High (1987) The Plot: Several years after an infamous string of murders at a high school, a film crew who is making a movie about the events, start seeing its cast and crew start disappearing.  If you have George Clooney in your movie, is it better to a) kill him off in the first part of the movie or b) realize what you have and use him to his fullest potential? Well, the good folks responsible for Return to Horror High kill him off almost immediately.  In their defense, he wasn't THAT George Clooney yet. Still 7 years away from ER, but only one year after his tour de force in Facts of Life! But still! The boyish good looks, the natural charm, the hair! My God, the hair! it's all here for the taking!   If you have Clooney with his prime time hair, you use him!   At least they replaced Clooney with Brendan Hughes. Let me check the IMDB on him......Yes, the Brendan Hughes that starred in...the straight to video release of Howl...

Son Of Godzilla (1967) The Plot: Scientists fooling around with a weather machine cause the mutation of giant insects which open an egg containing Godzilla's son.    So Godzilla's a dad! Which leads one to wonder: what does Godzilla reproduction look like? Well, it involves an egg. Did Godzilla lay the egg? It's never made clear. The egg was buried under rubble before being opened presumably prematurely by giant mutated grasshoppers. It's not made clear if the insects play an important role in the reproduction cycle of Godzilla. Are they a symbiotic species needed to hatch all Godzilla eggs? or just smug assholes who like to mess with the offspring of giant lizards for fun?  I think the scientists needed to be studying that instead of  their attempts at controlling the weather. The not-quite-so-ready-for-the-prime-time Godzilla offspring then needs to be rescued by dear ol' dad who uses his ATOMIC FIRE BREATH to easily torch the mutated grasshoppers....

House II: The Second Story (1987) The Plot: A young man digs up the body of his great-great-grandfather and discovers a crystal skull which reanimates the corpse of his great-great-grandfather who then uses the power of the skull to cross space and time protecting it from the evil that is trying to obtain the crystal skull.  This is the greatest movie I have ever seen that involves the reanimated corpse of a great-great-grandfather who befriends his great-great-grandson while acquiring new friends such as a baby pterodactyl, a caterpillar-dog aka the cater-puppy,  and Cliff Clavin as an adventurer/electrician who then join forces to kill the zombie cowboy that is out to steal their powerful crystal skull. There were so many caterpillar-dog movies in the 80's that this one could easily get lost in the mix, but trust me,. this is the best one.  Don't be fooled by imitations, this is the original Cater-puppy movie!   And also, if you find your house buil...

Waxwork (1988) The Plot:  A mysterious waxwork opens up and a group of young adults get an invitation to go where they get more than they bargained for!  Waxwork stars Zach Galligan (Gremlins) as a rich college kid who stumbles upon a new waxwork in the neighborhood run by David Warner (The Omen) who has a penchant for wearing clothes clearly bought at the same vintage boutique that Willy Wonka shops. Probably nothing weird about that. Oh except that David Warner needs 6 people to sacrifice in order to feed their souls to the 18 most evil beings in the world can come back to life and bring about the end of days where evil will rule the world. You didn't expect evil to think small did you? David Warner (R) modeling the clothes from the Willy Wonka line   One by one, Zach Galligan's friends are sucked into an alternate dimension where they get killed, have their souls taken and reappear back int he waxwork as wax people themselves. Sure. OK. Zach has to cons...

The Black Cat (1934) The Plot: Honeymooners get trapped in a weird mansion after an auto accident   While on their honeymoon, Peter and Joan agree to share their train compartment with  Dr. Vitus Werdegast ( Bela Lugosi), a  Hungarian psychiatrist. Which would be lesson #1 here. Never befriend a Hungarian psychiatrist in a train compartment, especially one played by Bela Lugosi!  They end up in the creepy art deco mansion of  Hjalmar Poelzig (Boris Karloff) former commander in the army during WW I and now leader of a satanic death cult. Again,. i must stress this: Never stay the night in an art deco mansion run by a leader of a satanic death cult who also has a penchant for black cats. Nothing good will come of this! When running your own Satanic Death Cult, it's good to have your own costume jewelry   The Black Cat does feature both Lugosi and Karloff facing off against each other. They both rise to the occasion here but what do you expect,...

Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954) The Plot: Scientists unearth a strange fossil and embark on a trip to the Amazon where they get more than they bargained for.    The Creature From The Black Lagoon is a Halloween classic, and for good reason. The Creature himself is an iconic design. Arguably the best design of all the Universal monsters. Although it's hard to pick the best amongst Karloff's Frankenstein's Monster, Lagosi's Dracula and Lon Chaney Jr.'s Wolf Man.  C'mon in, the water's fine!   The story follows a group of scientists investigating a strange fossil in the Amazon. They hire a boat to take them to investigate when they first run into the gill man. Naturally, the desk hands, the Black Lagoon equivalent of the red shirts in Star Trek,  are the first killed. They're just creature fodder afterall, just there to show how serious things really are.  The Gill Man's preferred method of killing, web claws to the face! ...